Sunday, November 15, 2009

New Wiener Pill Causes Anal Seepage

It's amazing how many prescription drugs are advertised.  The thing I find funny are the side effects.  For example, a drug for allergies may cause nose bleeding, nausea, upset stomach, headaches, and runny stools.  But you won't sneeze anymore.  It's so worth it.

Another funny scenario I often think about is with Viagra or Cialis.  More in particular, "if you experience an erection for 4 hours or more, please seek immediate medical attention."  Here's how I can see that going...

So Bob was walking into an emergency room with wood.  He had taken Cialis 5 hours ago, and has had a boner ever since.  Since Bob paid attention to the commercials, he knew this was a bad thing, and not something that he should otherwise be bragging about.  He walks up to the check-in desk, and the receptionist says, "so what brings you in here tonight?"

Bob says, "well, I took some medication earlier today..."

Receptionist, "ok...what was it?  Are you experiencing some side effects?

Bob, "Umm... yes."

Receptionist, "what's the issue?"

Bob, "my little friend was only supposed to come out for a little while... he hasn't gone back yet..."

Receptionist, "...oh... I see..."

Bob, "it's been 4 and a half hours.  Normally I'd be happy about that, but I know that's not good because of the medication I took."

So what would the intake person mark as reason for treatment?  Excessive wood?  What exactly do they have to do if a guy walks into the ER with a boner that won't go away?  I guess there could be worse side effects, like anal seepage.

But back to my original point, why are prescription drugs advertising?  I remember not too long ago that there was no such thing as knowing about brand named drugs before going into a doctor's office.  I never had to ask my doctor if this certain drug is right for me.  He just prescribed a generic that was right for me, and I went on my merry way to get my drugs and get better from whatever it was that was making me sick.

Has anyone at least thought that this insane advertising might be contributing at least a little bit to why health care costs are nuts?  Viagra, at least at one point, was a primary sponsor of a NASCAR team.  That's not cheap.  I've seen several drug related commercials during Sunday Night Football.  Not cheap.  I'm sure billions are spent so that you can ask your doctor about the new way to treat your watery eyes, but might cause projectile vomit.  It's no wonder we're so drugged up.  Once you start on one medication, you need 4 more to treat the side effects.  I'd rather keep my watery eyes, thank you very much.


Cathy said...

Wiener pills and anal seepage...quite the way to make your blogging comeback! I agree with the rx drug advertising...why not just let the doc tell me what I need, no need for the commercials.