Saturday, September 19, 2009

Sex, Drugs, Alcohol and Sarah Palin

With a title like that, you're probably thinking, "what do they all have to do with each other?" And I don't blame you one bit.

It's really quite simple, they can all lead to dizziness, fatigue, and generally best suited for people 21 and over. Though many attempt to use some of these before that age, you may not get the full effect of what these things can do to your mind and body.

Sex is fun. Don't get me wrong on that. It can be very fun and satisfying. However, when magazines are telling me to screw like I'm pushing a wheel barrow... something's wrong with that picture (I borrowed that from another post here about Cosmo). That just seems like it would be dizzying, nauseating for the female, and especially painful with the separated boob.

Drugs... I can honestly say I haven't dabbled in them myself, though many people I know have, and I've been around them while in their drugged stupor. Marijuana has led to some stupid decisions, even though it seemed fun, happy and exciting at the time for them.

Alcohol makes an unattractive person at 10:00 p.m. seem like a good idea by 2:00 a.m. Even better, you won't remember the good idea by 8:00 a.m. Fortunately for you, I'd be around then to remind you.

Now Sarah Palin. Holy crap. We have to fix the health care system by reforming it. Death panels! Ah, Jim Ayers is taking over! I retired as governor because I wanted to concentrate on my Facebook page and show the liberal media that I really do have a lot of friends.

I'm really not sure where to start with this. It seems like when she couldn't screw up any worse, she goes out and proves me wrong. First it was Russia being right there, so she's got great foreign policy because she was keeping an eye on the Russians. Then it was how she reads all of the newspapers. Finally, the election ended. McCain lost by a lot. I figured, that's it. No more Palin! I won't lose more brain cells having to listen to her!

Of course, she proved me wrong. Who would have thought that the LOSING VP candidate would make the morning news show rounds after the election was well over? It was unprecedented. Of course, that didn't stop her. She still needed to extend her 15 minutes and disspell the allegations about the campaign buying her clothing, and yada yada yada, whatever else crap she had to spew out at the time.

Then came the resignation. WOOHOO! Maybe now she'll be gone. Damn... she's making what some would consider a big announcement... Son of a bitch... she'll be all over the news for a while, but it will be worth it because she'll be gone after she's out of office.

So now, we get death panels, the AP hanging on her every word on Facebook. I wonder why she quit Twitter... maybe she thought that it was a dirty word and didn't want to be a bad influence on young women of America by endorsing such a thing as a Twitter.

So, what does the person who understands the health care bill so well that she started the idea of "death panels," have to say? Here's my shortened, paraphrased rendition of her latest statement concerning the health care bill, and one of President Obama's latest statements:

"President Obama and his bureaucrat buddies want to take over your health care. They want a system that is completely government controlled, and send your grandmother to a bureaucratic death panel to decide if she should get her dentures. President Obama hasn't refuted these claims, so they're true. I'm a maverick. I don't want the government to take over your health care. I'm also mavericky because I'm ditching mainstream media, and reaching out to all of you Washington outsiders with my message on Facebook. Did you see my pictures from our latest trip to New York?"

Impressive, huh? The most absurd part of it all, to me, is that she literally does say that President Obama keeps making unsupported claims (related to the Medicare Advisory Council, aka "death panel"), and that she's going to continue to call him out on it. I'm pretty sure that it's been said more than once, that there's no death panel, and that the council isn't going to be saying whether or not granny should live or die.

So where I'm left now is with Sarah Palin now off of my TV, but instead, infecting my Internet. Talk about a bad virus.